Tokyo Metro Notes
I know, I know, it’s totally cliche to write about the Tokyo Metro. But I can’t resist, because it is so amazing.
First, It’s not a joke, the trains run to the millisecond.
Second, you can go to the bathroom in any station. They are delightful, in fact, those bathrooms, and offer both squatty potties and high-service ones, on which I have FB'd several times already. Would I use a bathroom in the Tube? The NYC Subway? Hell to the no.
Third, you can get anywhere. Might be a little overwhelming at first, but once you have your Suica or Pasmo card, you have the power supreme.
no problem, you got this.
Fourth, people queue properly to get on. It is not the shitshow of the New York Subway. There are bold yellow lines on the ground corresponding to the exact location of the doors when the train stops. one person might be standing at that line and you don’t shoal them, you stand behind them. At busy times there might be two lines for each door, but it is blissfully orderly.
These people are queuing to get on the train on platform 13. I don't know if this guy is concerned that I am taking his picture or that I might be incorrectly queueing. I also freely admit that neither he nor anyone else currently seems to be showing any expression reminiscent of "bliss".
Fifth, signage in the metro is the bomb. It is really clear how to get from one place to another, from one line to another, and indeed even what car to stand in to make the most efficient transition between lines. I am really sad I don't have a photo of this because it is a lovely exercise in the art of UI.
Sixth, what you may have heard about rush hour is true. People maneuver themselves in and the conductor will usher, chide, prod, and potentially shove to pack more in like sardines. The kid was crushed between two people and the guy in front kept falling asleep on her. His somnolence was a sharp contrast to my own upswelling panic at being trapped this way, Nuala was busy shoving him off and gripping my clammy hand while I swallowed and hummed and counted down to the next stop. When the train doors open, you are carried out in a swell of people and have to eddy over to the side to get back in.
There is a strategy to getting on, though, that I learned from a teenage school girl: a) if you are confronted by a wall of people. Remove backpack, turn, and back into the train car. Use your posterior to lead, and just wriggle back like you’re settling into a sandy spot at the beach. Do NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, make eye contact with ANYONE or utter a syllable. We suffer each other's proximity in mutually shared discomfort. Note for future experimentation: pass wind? any effect on number of square inches allotted?
b) especially for the ladies: be sure to wriggle in so that you settle in front of a woman. Do not, repepat, NOT settle in front of a potential pervy salary man. See below, seventh point.
c) in the event that people shift during transit, resist the urge to take any available seat. Doing so will provide significant complications during extraction procedure and will substantially empact your TTE (Time to Exit). Possibly requiring you to go to the next stop and go through the whole entry and exit exercise AGAIN.
Seventh, while I had initial misgivings about its sexist implications, the women’s car is pretty great. The advertising, as Brian noted, is duly targeted: wedding dresses, depilatory services sold with the tag line, “Enjoy, Girls!” possibly even more cute cartoon characters than in every other car, low fat yogurt and laundry sheet ads, all in every shade of pink imaginable.
It is, however, a haven during rush hour from the pounds of sweaty flesh and various body parts pressing against you.
It's always important to read the fine print.
That's right, women-only, on trains departing from Nishi-Funabashi from 6:57 to 8:56. Not before, not after. Which brings us back to the first point. The circle is complete.